do not say ’tis superstition

Pretty much everything in my life, including this blog, has been on hold for the last 7 weeks while I coped--poorly--with the nausea and exhaustion of early pregnancy. I'm on the cusp of the second trimester now and (knock on wood) my symptoms seems to be easing up. It's been at least ten times worse than my first pregnancy. Which I take as evidence that my determination to have a girl is working out.

Why do I want a girl? I don't know. Really, given the kind of daughter I was/am to my own mother, I should probably be praying for a boy. I did ensure that my daughter will not be born in Cancer, like my mother and I. That's more than a little batty, I acknowledge, to plan your pregnancy by astrological sign, but there is no room in my life for another female Cancer. My husband heartily agrees with this approach. What he didn't realize is we may have landed ourselves in a worse fix with a Leo due date. When I told my mom the baby was due August 1, she  said, "A Leo girl? Ha! You deserve that." When I told Trent that Leos are more bullheaded than Cancers, he visibly paled.

In addition to consulting astrology to plan my pregnancy, I am currently planning a natural childbirth. My crunchy new hometown is really rubbing off on me, I guess. When I told Trent, he did not react for a good three minutes, then suddenly said "Wait, what?" He was having trouble getting his head around the idea. Then he asked if his mom could stand in for him as my coach. To which I said certainly not, of course. I am not one of these women who like to have a million people hanging out for the birth. The only people welcome during my labor and birth are medically certified strangers and my husband, who is only there because I'll be damned if he gets to escape the suffering I'm going through.

My reason for wanting to skip the epidural this time though is purely pragmatic. I'm convinced that my labor will be considerably faster and shorter without painkillers, so ultimately no epidural = less pain.

This crunchy stuff is quite the slippery slope though. The more I think about and plan for my natural birth, the more I understand the appeal of home birth. Don't get me wrong: I am not going there. There are two quite unassailable reasons I would not do a home birth -- (1) whatever these crunchy mamas want to tell you, birth is dangerous for the woman and the baby, and I want all the medical staff and technology I can muster hovering close by; and (2) childbirth is unbelievably, horribly, stomach-churningly messy--why would I want that in my house where I will have to clean it up? hell no. But. Those two very important reasons aside, I get it. Trying to prepare myself to cope with the pain of natural childbirth is harder when I know there are so many things I can't predict or control. The small amount of control and predictability that birthing in one's own home affords is definitely appealing.

Next up: organic vegetable gardening. So far all I have done is this regard is look at some books at the library and feel overwhelmed. But I'll keep at it. One of these days I might actually buy my own book. And everyone knows that owning a book about something is practically like doing it.